I never want to be that mom.
I was waiting in line at one of my favorite fabric stores last week getting fabric for The Scrunchie Sisters and overheard the lady in front of me chatting it up with the cashier. I couldnt help but hear her say “I haven’t sewn anything in like 34 years because I’ve been raising my kids. THANK GOD theyre all gone and moved out now”. And yes…she did emphasize the capitalized words. It was almost as if she was thrilled they were finally gone!
Now of course I don’t know her circumstances, how many kids she had or anything like that, but in the moment, it saddened me for a couple reasons…
I really wish she wouldn’t have waited 34 years to pursue her passion while raising kids. (You shouldn’t either) Maybe if she would have carved out a little time to do some sewing, maybe she wouldn’t be feeling so much relief that her kids are gone. Again, I don’t know her circumstances, just hypothesizing here.
The thing is, I never, ever want to feel relief that my kids are out of the house. (Believe me, I’m not ready for either of them to fly the nest! ) I think the only reason you might feel that way is you felt unappreciated, overworked, overwhelmed, taken advantage of or never got any time for yourself?
Maybe if she had been given an opportunity do something for herself (like sew) or have a hobby on the side, she wouldn’t feel that way?? I don’t know.
Being a mom and having children is a gift and not one that I take for granted.
But we can’t let ourselves get lost in motherhood.
Since my girls were little, I’ve made it a point to do things that were for me. Those first couple months where I was home with my oldest by myself were tough. I immediately started looking for local mommy and me groups to join. Then when she was old enough, I decided to start teaching Baby Signs classes so I could meet other moms and do something to get out of the house. After my second daughter was born, I started back to working out at home when I got cleared to do so from my Dr. In 2012, I went all in and committed to growing a side hustle, my Beachbody coaching gig. (Yes, I still do this just don’t post about it like I used to)
Luckily because of that commitment to building a business, I was able to continue to be a stay at home mom which was something that I had always wanted to do. Because I was home, I was also pretty involved at my girls elementary school…volunteering in the classroom, chaperoning field trips. (Not so much middle and high school…their choice! 😂) Not only did this give me something to do outside of the house, but I was able to meet other moms with kids the same age as mine!
I’ve been at home with my girls since they were born
I can say with 100% certainty, I have never once felt like “I can’t wait til my kids move out”. In fact it’s quite the opposite! I’m gonna miss them like crazy and probably cry when that time does come…which is less than an year for my first one to fly the nest and start college!
So I guess my point of all this is…If you’re a mama, especially one that stays home with your kids…make sure you take some time for you. Pursue a hobby, do stuff without your kids, take care of your health, start a side hustle…something for you!!
If nothing else, remember what they tell you when you’re on a flight….be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping the person beside you.