The ONE thing you need to turn your life around and get un-stuck

Sometimes in life it can seem like nothing is going right.  You’re not where you want to be in your career, your relationships, your home or your financial situation.  Perhaps you feel stuck. Believe me girl…I’ve been there.  Lately, I’ve decided to step back from spending so much time on social media (scrolling and sharing) and go back to blogging and creating! (more on the creating thing later) In my opinion, social media has become more toxic and has pitted people against one another.  And honestly, I need a break from the negativity!  But blogging is something that I did when my girls were super little and kinda got away from it when Facebook came around!  I’m finding that I kinda miss it. So here we are!

Since there have been several times in my life that I’ve felt stuck and have been able to pull myself out of it…let’s chat about it.

Its ok to get stuck! Just don’t stay there.

If you asked which human quality is the most important in the pursuit of success, most people would give answers such as intelligence, experience, talent or inherent ability but did you know that more and more scientific research is emerging to support the fact that optimism plays a larger role than any of the above?

Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company once said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

The power of thought has previously been demonstrated to affect humans on a biological level as demonstrated in the placebo effect, wherein subjects given sugar pills experienced as much of a reduction in pain or other medical symptoms as the people that were actually given real medicine.

Recent studies are also revealing that contrary to popular belief, success is a result of happiness, and not the other way round. 

First you must be happy, and then you will succeed. Sounds a little backward, doesn’t it?

Let’s examine the reasons why having an optimistic attitude and the ability to reframe negative experiences and challenges into positive ones could help you achieve success faster than any other skills.

1. You won’t quit before you succeed

Most of us will start working on a goal with high levels of excitement and motivation, fueled by our expectations of a positive outcome but what happens when things don’t go as planned?

If you’re a glass half full person, you are more likely to focus on how much progress you’ve already made or how much joy you’ll feel when you finally succeed, and keep pushing forward.

Glass half empty people are however more likely to consider the time and effort already spent as a waste, or even decide that they are not good enough to bring the task at hand to completion.

Obviously, being optimistic is the better option here!! Always believe the glass is half full…and that its refillable!

2. You’ll have less stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety have unfortunately become a common problem among adults and even children, as a reaction to the highly competitive world we live in.

We all have our share of doubts, fears, and a host of other negative emotions, but how you choose to deal with them is the real determinant of how long they’ll stay  and how badly they’ll affect you.

A 2016 study published in the Journal of Behavior Research and Therapy found that out of 102 test subjects diagnosed with anxiety disorder, the ones who were most effectively able to manage this condition were the ones who had been instructed to think of a positive outcome to their worries or a positive, unrelated image to replace whatever was bothering them in the moment.

So when faced with these doubts and fears…turn to being grateful for what you HAVE  and what you’ve been able to accomplish so far!

3. You’ll have more motivation to work with

We all know how much work we can accomplish with a little motivation, and the most successful of us are the ones who are able to tap into this resource as often as we need.

Positive thoughts about an exciting outcome are much more likely to give you that extra push when you need it to persevere through a never ending workload than negative thoughts like dread which will only lead to procrastination or worse.

Having a clear vision of what you want to achieve and how you’ll feel when said things come to fruition is key!!

4. You’ll get more breakthroughs and new ideas

You know how when you give in to your fears you can come up with the most outrageous scenarios of failure? Seriously…our mind is so powerful!  Imagine channeling all that creative energy towards your goals. Imagine spending your time thinking about how to solve a problem close to your heart, instead of putting yourself down or rehashing all the ways in which you could fail and be embarrassed!

It’s been said that the mind magnifies whatever you feed it, so it’s ultimately up to you to choose positive or constructive thoughts over negative ones, and allow them to lead you to the answers that you seek.  I always go back to that old saying…what you think about you bring about.  (and I have no idea who said it!)

5. You’ll live longer

A long running study from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health found that “the most optimistic women had a 16 percent lower risk of dying from cancer; 38 percent lower risk of dying from heart disease; 39 percent lower risk of dying from stroke; 38 percent lower risk of dying from respiratory disease; and 52 percent lower risk of dying from infection.”

When you truly believe in yourself, you won’t feel the need to be modest about your dreams anymore, because you’ll know that everything is within your reach.

Play close attention to how you’re feeling. Look for the good in all situations and remember that there is likely someone out there who is in far worse situation than we may be in.  Do whatever you can to get out of a negative mindset and the best way I’ve found to do this is to grab a sheet of paper or journal and start writing out things that you’re grateful for.  And finally, its important to get clear on what it is you want in your life and then go after it like your life depends on it! Because it does!!



The Harvard Gazette

Journal of Behavior Research and Therapy

American Psychological Association

Harvard Health Publishing