September 11 Birthday – Celebrate or Mourn

Do you have a memory of a birthday you’d like to forget or wish never happened…maybe it was when you a child and your parents didn’t throw you a birthday party; or maybe it was the day your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you or  perhaps no one remembered you on your special day.  All of these very valid reasons for having the worst birthday ever!  For me, September 11, 2001 will always be a day I wish never happened.  A day that not only changed America and the lives of so many people…but how I feel on my birthday.

Here’s a recap of what my day looked like:

This was a picture of the complex not my actual unit (Courtesy zilllow.com)

I was living the single life in Dallas TX in at condo that I’d purchased all by myself. It started as any other day…I got up, got ready for work and headed out for my drive up to my job in Plano! I usually listened the Kid Kraddock morning show on the radio during my drive.  I had just exited the Tollway and was at a stop sign on the frontage road when an announcement was made over the radio that the twin towers had been hit.  I was in disbelief – shock really so I kept driving.  I got to the office and much of the day was a blur.  Not even sure much work got done that day but I do remember watching/listening to the news.  Around lunchtime, my boss and a bunch of my coworkers took me to a birthday lunch at Cheesecake Factory!  Which was a nice break from the reality of the day and often times I now associate CF with 9/11.  Its so crazy the things that make of think of events in our life! I was also in graduate school at the time and that night we had a group meeting for our presentation for class.  I debated whether or not I wanted to go a…but in the end, I went.  I figured I needed to.  During our meeting, we briefly talked about the events of the day and proceeded to get our work done.  I came home afterwards and pretty much vegged in front of the TV…alone.  Crying.  Feeling angry for what these terrorists had done, incredible sadness for the lives that had been lost and just bitter about how my birthday was now a “tainted” date in history.

Now when I write my date of birth or am asked for my drivers license and people see what my birthday is, I almost always get a reaction…and its usually “oh I’m so sorry” or something along those lines. I’ve learned to just shrug it off and usually just agree that  “ya, its not the best birthday to have! But its still my day.

Birthdays are supposed to be days that you look forward to all year long and you get to celebrate.  September 11th should be no different.  I mean I spend weeks (sometimes months) planning my daughters birthday celebrations. Its a big deal. But who really feels like celebrating a birthday when there are so many families being reminded of and mourning the loss of their loved ones…I certainly don’t!  Yet, I sometimes feel an obligation to celebrate because its like a right of passage…you’re supposed to.  And wouldn’t you be giving the terrorists some sort of satisfaction knowing that what they did caused you to not celebrate your own birthday anymore.  I don’t know…totally struggle with finding the right answer!   And maybe there’s just not one.  I’m telling you, my emotions of this day are all over the board!

I cry at least once a day…usually more.  But it comes and go’s.  I cry not because I knew anyone personally who lost their life but more because I feel a strong, weird sort of connection to this tragedy because it happened ON my birthday.  Its hard to describe…I don’t think anyone who doesn’t have a birthday on this day would really understand completely.  I’m sure some could relate though…those who’s birthdays fall on tragedies like the  Oklahoma City bombing, Pearl Harbor, Sandy Hook shooting to name a few… but I think what makes this one a little different is 9/11 is the DATE and what its known by. There’s really no forgetting what this day represents.  But you know what…it doesn’t have to be all bad memories because while the day was tainted with horrible acts of terrorism…it was also a day that America came together to comfort, to cry, to help…

As of 2009, September 11th officially became recognized as National Service and Remembrance Day.  A day to not only remember those lives who were lost on 9/11 but also to not forget about all the many good deeds and acts of service that were done on that day.  People banding together, helping one another and truly just wanting to be there and help!  For me, thats how I’d like to celebrate.  I don’t know what I’ll do yet, but I’d love for you to watch this video and join the 9/11day.org movement  You can use the #911day in your social media posts!

Have a blessed day.

xo